Does lack of organization make you a bad parent?
It all started in the second year of primary school, with the “Igloo Project”. My mother, astonished, saw me looking everywhere for a curious material, a school morning:
“Mom, do we have cotton wool?
– Of course why ?
– Where is the glue? “
In a while, I had assembled an igloo. My cousin had spent weeks there. I had never mentioned this work to be done, let alone the date of delivery, scheduled that morning. My mother was furious. When the teacher gave us back our work, my mother dismissed my wonderful note and insisted that I repeat the exercise to teach me a lesson.
Mom told this story hundreds of times. It was a defining episode of my life. The organization is not my forte. I have no affinity with the routine.
The “Igloo Project” syndrome kept me going to university, where I accumulated sleepless nights to postpone work the next day. At the same time, I envied the meticulous schedules of my friends and their perfectly recorded notebooks. Then I had children. And everything has become organizational business.
When my daughter Joey, now eight years old, was born, I did my best to set a schedule. It was the creed of all the specialists of the childhood: make a table for the saddles, one for the dodos, another for the tasks and a schedule of the meals. I have tried everything ! So much ! I could not keep up with one program without going crazy and, of course, feeling guilty about my pitiful parenting performance every time I forgot to record a poop.
A few months after the birth of my son Ryan, now six years old, it suddenly struck me: why would childbirth magically transform a naturally disorganized woman into a zen master of routine? No, I’ll never become that kind of mother. And to be honest, it’s not the end of the world. After this realization, I started to bet on my own qualities: I am a loving mother, intuitive, creative, fun and patient.
Is lack of organization a bad parent? Of course, our daily life is not completely unstructured. Since I do yoga every morning, the lunches are prepared the day before. The homework is done on time and, despite the crazy race, the kids always arrive on time and in class.
The weekends are rather in a soft focus. We eat when we want, and I grimace when, after the karate class, parents rush back to prepare the meal … A Sunday! My loved ones always worry when they keep my kids for the night. Will they go to bed at 10 pm or very early (and will they let their cousins sleep)?
But I’m happy to tell you that even without a specific schedule, my children are not damned. They may have even removed something. They learned to organize themselves on the job and know how to adapt to any situation.
Everything indicates that Ryan has won this curious gene of the organization. Her teacher calls him Mr. Calendar, because he always knows what the planned activities are: and that the “Force” accompanies him if he had to get away from his program!
Joey, on the other hand, is rather dreamy and always needs encouragement to go from one topic to another, but what creativity! Like me, she lacks organization, but we look after ourselves. Oh damn ! I leave you: this text must be given in one hour and we must drop the children at school.